How can I become calm and self-confident?

How can I become calm and self-confident?

By realizing that you’ll be fine whatever happens.

There is a strange idea about self-confidence. It’s the idea that some people just have it, they are gifted with it and now their life is perfect.

The truth is that confidence is earned through reference experiences.

What does self-confidence actually mean?

In short, it means that you know you'll be fine whatever happens.

Confidence is trusting in your abilities to deal with the difficulties of life.

The deep knowing that “this too shall pass”.

The tranquility and calmness that comes from accepting that life is a cycle of booms and busts, growth and decay.

Confidence allows you to be mentally strong, to be optimistic about whatever emotional situations life throws at you and to be at peace with yourself, whatever happens.

Will you still doubt yourself?

Sure, we are not perfect, so thoughts of self-doubt and worry might pop up once in a while.

But you will have the awareness to recognize them and know deep inside that there’s really nothing to worry about.

How can you be calmer and more grounded?

Think about an old tree, with deep strong roots.

The tree started off as a little plant but got shaped by the storms of life.

These experiences in its environment were causing him to grow stronger roots, to grow a stronger bark and to be more grounded.

How to develop confidence?

The same is true for us.

You become more confident by realizing that you’ll be fine whatever happens.

How do you realize that?

Put yourself in situations that scare you, that push your comfort zone and make you cringe when you think about them.

Feeling the fear, doing it anyway and realizing that you’ll be fine is what establishes a track record of being courageous and thus a lasting trait of confidence.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and know that you’ll be fine whatever happens because you’ve been in these situations before.

To get started, don’t overwhelm yourself with all the things that scare you.

Start small.

Do tiny things that push you a little every day, for example, record audio notes or call a friend while using public transport.

You will get rejected and it will hurt in that moment.

But after doing it you will think:

“That was it? That’s what I’ve been fearing all along?”

This track record of “been there, done that” not only gives you confidence in yourself but also gives you mental strength and inner peace.

You will realize that, just as Seneca said:

“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.”

You can just let go and not be held back by your fear anymore.

You’ll know deep down that you’ll be fine whatever happens.

Hope it helps,