Monday, May 25, 2020

How do I overcome shyness, anxiety, overthinking

How to Cope With Anxiety and Depression | Everyday Health
Now, I will start by defining shyness, anxiety, overthinking, introversion and tell you how you can avoid each except the last one:
Shyness: being nervous or timid in the company of other people because you care much about their judgement. Shyness stems from the insecurities that someone possesses about how they come across when they speak or do a particular activity. Shy people care about the validation from others, and their timid behaviour is a coping mechanism of avoiding to be judged.
How to outgrow shyness
  • Practice talking to strangers
  • Rationalize your fears, and you will learn that it is never that serious
  • Join a public speaking club
  • Learn many skills and adopt new active hobbies
  • Use "5 seconds rule" to act before you overthink

Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Note that you can be anxious about different things. Will your fiancee say Yes when you propose? Will you pass your exams? Will people laugh when you crack a joke?
Image: Google
How to overcome anxiety
  • Make a plan on how to confront things you fear. If you are afraid of talking to people who are not in your close social circle; start by talking about unfamiliar topics to your close friends. Make a plan and talk to strangers regularly. You can start by smiling at them until it gets comfortable before you say Hello. Say casual things until you are ready to ask more profound questions and note down your progress. This will boost your morale, and your confidence can be translated to every other area.
  • Analyze your actions to see whether your anxiety is rational or not. Think in the worst-case scenarios of outcomes. What is the worst thing that will happen if your crush does not reciprocate your love feelings? What is the worst thing that would happen if you do not pass the exam? Will your boss fire you when you ask for a promotion? Considering the worst-case scenarios of the outcome will rationalize your fears; it helps you avoid overthinking and boost your confidence to act. Your anxiety will reduce, and you will cultivate the habit of taking simple decisions without feeling anxious.
Overthinking: thinking about something for too long. It might result in procrastination and unreasonable fears.
How to overcome overthinking
  • Use the "5 seconds rule". Do not let yourself count from 5 to zero before you act when you truly know it is the right thing to do. When you see someone and feel like you want to know them; go to them before you overthink how the conversation might go. Go to them and do not follow the script. Be spontaneous, and this rule might be translated to other areas of your life like avoiding to snooze the alarm, etc
  • Consider the worst-case and the best-case scenarios: What is the worst thing that might happen if you act now? What is the best thing that might happen if you act now? Thinking in both extremes will give you insights into what is the right thing to do at the time without overthinking.
Introversion: the quality of being overly stimulated by social interaction. Introverts prefer calm, minimally, stimulating environments. They tend to be drained after socializing, and they regain energy by spending time alone.
It is not something you can overcome. Introverts are biologically hardwired to act as introverts. You might try to live as if you are extroverted, but it does more harm than good. So, I urge you to live the life the way you want to live it as an introvert. You might confuse being shy or social inept with introversion, but they are very different. You can be outgoing, charismatic and still be an introvert.
Life hacks for introverted people.
  • Make an effort to make and maintain friends even if it might not naturally come to you. It will open social and professional opportunities for you.
  • Talk about things you value when making a conversion. It will help you avoid the unnecessary stress which comes from small talks and something you are not interested in.
  • Be early for parties. You do not want to introduce to a hundred strangers, but if they find you at the party; they will introduce themselves and continue the conversation, you will be having at the time. It will help you control the conversation and limit it to things you enjoy talking about. That is the cleverest way to avoid being drained easily.
  • Do not worry about how you come across. Say what you want when you want. Be unapologetic about your needs. Want to go home and read a book? Say that to your friends and do not apologize for doing things you enjoy.
  • Develop active hobbies. This will help you get new acquaintances who are interested in the things you are interested in, and it will expand your horizon.
  • Do not conform to your personality's default mode. Do not let your introversion be a barrier to getting a promotion at your job. Do not let your personality hold you captive and refrain you from pursuing specific opportunities. Be assertive about things you want and say No when needs be.
  • Capitalize on your introversion. There are gifts which come with introversion. Know the best career for you; opportunities which match your personality and make the most out of them. Let your introversion work for you, not against you.

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